middle school bedroom

October 18, 2022 in art, family, hank, quilts, residential interior

the summer before my lucy started middle school she wanted to buy new school clothes. in the past, i typically just dipped into the girls’ section on a target run and picked up dresses and leggings and tees in bright colors that featured unicorns, rainbows, hearts and glitter. i loved selecting happy outfits for her and she was always delighted with what i brought home. this time, however, she wanted to come along and weigh in on everything. at first i thought it might be fun.

happy, happy new year! x0x

September 26, 2022 in family, hank, holiday

(hank contemplating the sweet new year…)

on the jewish calendar, the new year, rosh hashanah, is celebrated in the fall. this timing has always resonated with me as it is the start of the school year and a change of season into fresh, brisk, invigorating weather (although here in boulder the school year now starts in mid AUGUST which is just bananas!) wishing you all a bright, peaceful new year… l'shana tova! x0x

la vie en ROSE! x0x

August 23, 2022 in family, hank, pet

i spent a significant portion of my childhood trying to convince my parents to get a dog. i didn’t understand until years later that this was always going to be a fruitless endeavor as my brother has severe allergies to anything furry. probably to deflect my desperate campaign, my father, who grew up in minneapolis and was a HUGE vikings fan, told me that if the vikings won the super bowl we could get a puppy. each fall my heart was full of hope and i cheered and supported and rallied behind those guys in purple and gold and each year i was terribly disappointed. they actually went to the super bowl FOUR times (’70, ’74, ’75 and ’77) and LOST each time. those years were definitely the hardest and i am just realizing might be why i really don’t care for purple or yellow. i don’t know what my father would have done if they had actually pulled it off because there was always the issue of my brother. maybe he understood, after rooting for them for decades that it was never going to happen. to date, it STILL hasn’t!

just in case you need it... x0x

June 14, 2022 in hank

last evening hank and i were walking in our beloved north boulder park and we came upon this tree wrapped in a crocheted message: GO FOR IT! we have been feeling a bit down and overwhelmed with all of the horrible happenings of late: roe, uvalde, buffalo, ukraine… and it really lifted our spirits. so THANK YOU crochet artist for sharing this bit of encouragement… it put a big smile on our faces! x0x

the center of our universe

May 18, 2022 in family, hank, pet

when theo was about three, an old friend of my first husband came to visit us in amsterdam. he was and is quite a character - a serious new yorker who looks like a rockstar but with a sweetie heart. he was hilarious with theo because he talked to him like an adult and by the end of his visit theo was tweaking his outfits and looked like he could be a drummer for guns n’ roses. on the last morning, after watching us dance around theo while serving him breakfast, first’s friend said, “WOW! that kid is front and center…FRONT AND CENTER!” and he was right.

my tread teacher, jess, with the one big dimple

May 10, 2022 in exercise, hank, pet

(baby hank in his first sweater)

so today during my “pop walk” with jess with the one dimple (like lu and my grandma) it came out that jess’ dog, zeus, died earlier in the week and she was missing her walks with him. i am not sure when she recorded this class but i just started bawling. i had to really grab onto the sides of my tread to make sure i didn’t get distracted by my grief and fall off. i have to imagine that she is the the kind of person who would have a frenchie, like hank, and i was pretty gutted.

the most WONDERFUL ones! x00xx

May 08, 2022 in family, hank, holiday

(half californian…)

for whatever reason it was not easy for me to get pregnant. i used thermometers and ovulation kits and “planned” and “relaxed” and went to the terrifying dr. wu for acupuncture and smelly herbs and ultimately created embryos via IVF with the incredible dr. cedars of U.C.S.F. these two were actually from the same batch but lu was frozen for four years. (only recently did she understand that she was NOT tucked up next to the mint chip ice cream at home but was in a freezer at the doctor’s office.) i think that’s why they look so much alike. lucy considers them twins. theo does not buy into that and feels 100% like an older brother. i am just so GRATEFUL that fertility science was advanced enough sixteen years ago that dr. cedars could help us bring these two into the world. i am GRATEFUL to all of the amazing people who supported us through that super intense process that entailed coordinating drugs and doctors from two countries (they were both born in the netherlands even though they began in san francisco.) and i am GRATEFUL to the legions of people: our kraamy, my dutch baby group, the godparents, the grandparents, the fairy godparents, the aunties and uncles, the babysitters, the teachers and the beloved friends who have helped us nurture and support them. i cannot imagine my life without these two half californian, half new yorker monkeys with a big splash of dutch and even some coloradan (i DID just get a tread and the accompanying attire like a real boulder mom) thrown in. they are everything. HAPPY, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! x0x0x

the new normal

April 05, 2022 in family, hank, pet

my parents came to stay with us in amsterdam when my first baby was born. after a few weeks of being woken up constantly at night, regularly getting puked on, never being able to count on any kind of schedule and feeling insanely tired i said, “mom… when is my life going back to NORMAL?” “oh honey,” she said brightly, “this IS your new normal!” and she was right.

daylight savings

March 16, 2022 in family, hank

this sunday hank and i slept in until 7:30 am, which is practically mid day for us… typically we are roosters. (i think best early morning and hank is eager to have his breakfast and first potty of the day… he usually goes straight back to bed after - literally, he heads directly upstairs and curls up in my bed for a few more hours…he’s not very industrious with his mornings.) i was so excited about the extra sleep until i got into the kitchen and saw that the clock on my range didn’t match my phone. for some reason i never know when daylight savings is coming. this was the “bad” kind of daylight savings where you lose an hour, but it was also good because now the clock in my car is correct (i’ve been waiting SIX MONTHS for this) so i won’t have to adjust when i look at the time… i just have to remember NOT to adjust.

valentine's day 2022 x00xx

February 14, 2022 in family, hank, holiday

we LOVE valentine’s day around here… we love MAKING valentines…

HAPPY, HAPPY 80th BIRTHDAY (in two days) to my WONDERFUL mother! x0x0x

January 25, 2022 in art, family, hank, quilts

(my mother’s high school senior portrait)

my mother is a study of contradictions. she grew up on a farm in the very small town of atlantic, iowa. she embraced the no-nonsense, stiff upper lip, super kind, mid-western values (AND the comfort food, which i grew up with) but always felt misplaced on a farm. she did not enjoy collecting eggs at the crack of dawn - she says the hens were ruthless and would pinch the backs of her hands and twist her skin… i have to ask her why she didn’t wear gloves - or get particularly attached to her 4H cow (who she showed in penny loafers, not work boots) or adopt a runty pig like fern that she bottle fed and doted on. no - she moved to the “big city” of minneapolis straight away after college and started working in fashion. she preferred urban sidewalks (where she could wear pretty shoes) and buses to fields and tractors. she was thrilled that her job as a junior buyer for dayton’s department store took her on regular trips to new york where she could soak in the energy and art and architecture and bagels (which she’d never had before) of the biggest, most exciting city in the country.

POSITIVE!

January 18, 2022 in hank, sofa

so it turns out i didn’t just have A virus over the holidays… i had THE virus! when i got back to boulder after christmas i had a sore throat which progressed into a throat ON FIRE with a runny nose, headache and some nausea. i was pretty flat for three days taking nyquil, drinking theraflu and sucking on ricolas (which i HATE so that is an indication of how tender my throat was - i only had them in the house because my dad loves them so i keep them on hand for his visits, which obviously haven’t happened since before the pandemic so they were very old, but still strong and nasty!) during that period my friend dropped off a home test which came back negative. i wasn’t seeing anyone (except hank, of course) because the kids went skiing with my first husband and i was feeling super cruddy and i wouldn’t have wanted to spread what i thought was a bad cold or strep anyway.

holiday photo 2021

December 07, 2021 in family, holiday, hank, photography

once again my kids completely lucked out for our holiday photo. my super talented friend, stephanie beresford, wanted to try out some new camera lenses and did a little shoot with them in the backyard. i have no idea when we did this… just that it was “some time” during the pandemic (i think i have permanent corona brain, which has left me unable to remember when anything happened) but it WAS in 2021. theo’s hair is even longer now and lucy has more of a “middle school” air about her, but beyond that they look the same. after all that these kids have had to process in the last two years: the corona, home schooling (especially “math with mom”), me being in school and FREAKING OUT over autocad and sketchup, endless door dash, multiple horrendous shootings, me too, BLM, all the wild fires and smokey air, the loss of our beloved GG AND the loss of our grandma on the “i” street, my vacuum being in the shop for so long (which has lots of ramifications for MY mental health and subsequently theirs) and just the loss of “normal life” (i keep imagining them sitting in a bar in their forties chatting with someone about this pandemic period, “how crazy was your mom during corona?”) i just couldn’t put them through further trauma for a more recent photo… i’m an AWESOME mom like that!

thanksgiving gratitude

November 16, 2021 in hank, holiday, pet, recipe

(hank LOVES dressing up for thanksgiving!)

even though the corona is STILL effecting us all (nearly TWO YEARS later… HAY SEUS!) the pandemic has made me really grateful for a lot of things i took for granted PP…

my lovely gas fireplace

November 09, 2021 in pet, residential interior, hank

(hank snuggled up by the fire)

even after eleven years in boulder, i am always caught off guard by the weather. this year we had a stunning, temperate fall with outrageous rainbow colored trees and then POOF - the wind rolled through, the leaves fell down and we got this freezing sleet/rain/snow with temps in the low thirties. my body just could not process the drastic change (hank’s didn’t have to as he simply refused to go outside) and i was FREEZING, despite my hat, scarf and jacket.

happy, happy halloween! x00xx

October 26, 2021 in family, hank, holiday, pet

halloween is one of my least favorite holidays… i don’t like bloody stuff or getting scared or being out in the cold - more than once we’ve had halloween SNOW here in boulder - or staying up too late. (one year lucy got the barfing flu and she could not go trick or treating - i have to say i was so HAPPY to stay home and just hand out candy - she wasn’t feeling TOO bad. it WAS a little unnerving because i wasn’t sure i should let her rest on the sofa in case she threw up again, but other than that nagging concern it was the BEST halloween!) i DO like candy and i LOVE seeing my kids dressed up (as long as there is no blood or wounds or axes or spooky masks.) unfortunately, they don’t appreciate when i weigh in on their costumes anymore… PRAISE JESUS i have hank.

hank's FOURTH birthday

September 21, 2021 in family, hank, holiday

(baby hank at his first birthday)

hank celebrated his fourth birthday last week…he’s TWENTY-EIGHT in dog years. this year his birthday fell on yom kippur… that’s a bit of a bummer because it’s not the most festive day (it’s “the day of atonement” in judaism.) the morning before, he skipped his breakfast. i can’t tell you how unusual that is so i thought maybe he was fasting a day early in order to get yom out of the way so we could properly celebrate on his special day. or maybe he was just being really cagey. of course, the fact that he wasn’t eating made me super worried so i scrambled him some eggs to entice him. he DID happily eat those. i forgot about his food bowl full of kibble and left for a meeting. when i returned he had eaten that too, so ultimately he had TWO breakfasts.

weekend with dad

August 24, 2021 in family, hank, travel

i spent the last few days with my dad… my mother went to “quilt camp” for the week with her quilting girlfriends as she has done for probably the last thirty years and i came out to berkeley to keep my father company for the weekend (i am so HAPPY that flying is an option now!) it is strange to be in the house without mom… we always have our coffee together early morning which she prepares in her very fancy, complicated machine - dad does not drink coffee - and sit at the kitchen table chatting. so i had to make my own coffee with her machine that is as fragile as an orchid and as demanding as a toddler. the first day the machine cooperated nicely which made me feel really competent and possibly a bit cocky. but the second day panic set in as he refused to carry on after i pressed the cappuccino button and red lights started flashing. i thought the little drawing was indicating that he was low on beans, but when i opened the top, there were loads of them in there. finally i realized that i was meant to empty the grounds. this is tricky as the large, flat pan is also full of mucky water that you don’t want to spill as you awkwardly make your way to the sink. finally i got everything dumped and reinstalled and then more red lights were pinging at me… this time he was low on water. HAY SEUS! he makes really good coffee but needs so much attention (this is why i have a VERY simple drip maker) and honestly this one is a VAST improvement from her last machine who was even more finicky and difficult to understand. that one had to go to the shop for detailed repair a few times before he was finally put down. my mother mourned him deeply until she brought this current guy home. she does not have pets, but caring for this coffee machine is far more consuming than feeding and cuddling with hank.

rumble tummy

August 17, 2021 in family, hank

whenever my dad cannot find a term or phrase that adequately expresses what he wants to say, he just makes one up. i grew up being told to, “sit up straight and stop SLUNCHING!” at the table or asked whether i was going to finish the “dritzel” on my plate - the last of my sauce or remains of my dinner or received announcements that someone was a “GROMP” … very unpleasant, far worse than a “grump.” (he is generally very communicative and if for some reason he cannot speak - like when my mother is saying something - he does not dare interrupt her - he finds another way. he frequently stands about a foot and a half behind her chair at the kitchen table and indicates how he feels with his eyes - he makes outrageous faces while my mother is speaking which sends my children into peals of laughter. about twenty five years ago he had his jaw wired shut for many weeks after a throat surgery and had to physically write down what he wanted to share on a yellow legal pad. my mom thought he would be spare and discriminating in what he wrote because it took more effort… instead he filled notepad after notepad with ALL of his thoughts and ideas both deep and trivial. and he made sure my mother read every single one in real time.)

restoration

August 03, 2021 in family, hank, holiday, pet, travel

each summer when we return to boulder from our long stay in california i have “reentry” problems… i feel jumbled and foggy and a bit overwhelmed. so i have developed a (compulsive?) process of restoration that helps me adjust back to my boulder life - basically i CLEAN everything. i start with the laundry, of course. the last two summers we have road tripped to berkeley and back (the first summer because of the corona and this summer because hank can’t fly anymore… he used to travel as an “emotional support” dog but all the airlines changed the rules as people started bringing “therapeutic” peacocks and donkeys on their flights. hank is too big for the carrier you can keep at your feet and with his smush face it’s not safe for him to be placed in the underbelly of the plane so the only way to get him to california is to drive.) even if we leave the west coast with suitcases full of clean clothes, after a week in the car we have tons of dirty stuff. this may take several wash loads, which gives me time to clean out the dressers and pull all the items that are too small or otherwise deemed unnecessary. this year i was delighted to realize that i’d sorted through the dressers and closets right before we left so i could put the clean clothes back straight away.