for some reason it was not easy for me to get pregnant. we tried all kinds of things (besides the obvious) before finally ending up seeing the amazing dr. cedars of UCSF’s center for reproductive health. dr. cedars guided us through the whole IVF process and we ended up with ten embryos. two of those we used to get theo and we froze the rest. then we moved from san francisco to amsterdam. 

i naively thought that when we were ready for another baby i would just fly back to california and get one put in. and that is what i did a couple of years later (after tons of coordination and planning and scheduling between dr. cedars and our dutch doctor, dr. verhoeve  - the fertility drugs are different in the two countries) but neither of the embryos stuck. several months later we tried again, this time using three embryos. sadly, none of those worked either. at this point i had been subjecting myself to hormones and injections and terrible disappointment for YEARS and i needed a break to both clear my body and my mind. we tabled the whole project for a good while as we considered the options. finally, we decided to use the remaining three embryos, mostly so that we could have closure on this chapter. i certainly did not think that any of them would result in a baby. when the embryos are first created, the doctors rate their “viability” and these last ones were the bottom of the barrel. even a lay person like me could see that they were not as evenly constructed as the ones used to make theo - the circles (cells) were less symmetrical and round, lilting in places.

AMAZINGLY, one of those wonky little embryos DID stick and i became pregnant with lu. we could not believe it. except that she immediately made her presence known… i have never been so nauseous. for at least six months i survived on lemonade and greasy potato chips… it was all i could stomach.

(dutch potato chips)

(lucy on the inside, theo on the outside)

she also made a pretty big splash coming out. she was overdue by a week and got ENORMOUS inside me (nearly nine pounds!) i just couldn’t get her out and my doctor was considering a C-section when the head of gynecology came in. at this point i was like a wild animal, screaming and thrashing around, completely unfocused. this new doctor was GORGEOUS and i DID focus on that. “LOOK AT ME!” he commanded with his mesmerizing aegean blue eyes. “you are going to push this baby OUT!” and i did. but i also had a serious hemorrhage and had to stay in the hospital for an extra week getting blood and plasma transfusions.

(lu and i were celebrities at the olvg after we survived her birth)

so lucille elizabeth chasnow has been a force from the very beginning and has always known how to make a dramatic entrance. today she is TEN YEARS old. i cannot begin to imagine this world without her and am so very grateful that she climbed right out of the bottom of that frozen barrel (for years she thought we kept her in OUR freezer, nestled up next to the mint chip ice cream.)

today we celebrate the adventure she has led us on as we have breathlessly tried to keep up. our girl is spicy and witty and exhausting and fierce (we are all a little bit afraid of her!) but she also loves SO BIG and generously, makes the most outrageous faces and tells absolutely hilarious tales. HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY babela bu… we LOVE you so! x0x0x0x

(favorite activities: sucking her fingers and playing with mama’s hair)

(favorite accressory: her “teef”)

(giant, sparkly sunnies are a necessity in boulder, colorado)

(not always into the photoshoot…)

(OJ with daddy)

(even fairies have tough afternoons!)

(the one who makes her laugh the hardest)

(she’s half new yorker…)

(birthday buddies)

x0x00x0xx