many of you have been asking how hank is doing on his diet. i have to say, it has not been easy. with the big drop in temperature, we tried on his favorite sweater from last winter a few days ago. last december, it was cozy, yet roomy, but this year, it fits him like a crop top a la britney spears, early nineties. i’m wondering if he is going to be one of those dogs whose closet is filled with a range of sizes he dips into depending on how much bacon he has had. will he need enough space to house his “fat jeans” and his “strictly following the paleo” jeans?
hank in his sweater, winter 2017
hank in his sweater, winter 2018
his “weight management” food arrived about a month ago, so i WAS able to increase his kibble back up to 3/4 cup, twice a day. but i know that he is missing the extra treats. i know this because he talks to me… hank hardly ever barks, but he makes this mewling, whimper whomper sound when i am eating that makes my heart ache. also, lucy taught him to shake (with his LEFT hand… i wonder about her left/right abilities as well… even i know you shake with your right) and get a treat after. now he will sit down in front of you and just offer up his hand over and over in a heart breaking attempt to get a snack.
so A.D. (after diet) i try to eat when he is occupied with something else, like a nap or chasing a toilet paper roll (he LOVES these… my father finds it “unseemly” that we give him TP rolls to play with and thinks we should only offer him paper towel rolls, but he really prefers the smaller, toilet paper size.) unfortunately, i am a pretty regular eater and i think he has figured out my schedule… he just appears or wakes up as soon as i open the fridge and locks his big, brown eyes on mine, letting me know that he is hungry too. i can be pretty strict with my children and have no problem eating yummy things in front of them when they have lost dessert privileges, but hank is another story. and this has really messed up my mid-day meal. i try to eat out more often now, but sometimes, i really need to work at home and this is not possible. on these days i may skip because hank is following me around like white on rice (this is NEVER good for my mood) or sometimes i just eat halloween candy for lunch because i can shove it in my mouth super quick before hank sees. we have LOADS of it now because my children are old enough to canvas the neighborhood much more efficiently than when they were smaller… lucy alone hauled in 299 pieces! also, since it snowed this year, we didn’t have as many trick or treaters and we were left with half a cauldron of candy meant to be given out. so i eat a bunch of little snickers for the main part of my lunch (they have peanuts, which have protein) and only dip into the midnight milkyways and twix for the dessert part. halloween candy for lunch is not the best for my heightened glucose levels that my doctor finally told me about, nor for my confidence in putting on a bathing suit for our upcoming beach holiday. (i INTENDED to up my number of weekly bar classes, pre-vacation, because bar exercises are supposed to lift your bum up like a peach… unfortunately, i did NOT end up at more classes and my current bum would be better classified as a pumpkin.)
and now with the passing of halloween, we are officially in the “holiday season.” thanksgiving can be a challenge when you are trying to watch your weight. with stuffing and gravy and biscuits and sauces it’s hard to take it down a notch. the only thing hank could really have would be the turkey, plain, but no one ever eats it that way, and if they do, they don’t ENJOY it.
i’ve also warned hank about the dangers of holiday parties (last year he was on puppy quarantine because he didn’t yet have all of his vaccinations and wasn’t allowed out.) i’ve told him that the pigs in a blanket are always a killer (he’s not supposed to have carbs even when he’s not dieting because they can expand in his little intestines and cause “bloat” which is often fatal for frenchies! and that he must stick to low-calorie vodka drinks without mixers - that’s where all the sugar comes in… plus it’s much more likely that he will escape a hangover. so if you do see hank out and about in the next few months, he will probably be sipping on a ketel one martini and thoughtfully munching an olive or two (but not three!)
happy, happy thanksgiving! x0x
to read more about hank’s diet click here