the postives of being positive! x0x

October 24, 2023 in family

at the beginning of the month i had another bout with covid. this time felt very different than when i had it two years ago…rather than being almost delirious with a horrendous sore throat and feeling like i might die for well over a week, i was headachey, nauseous and had a bit of a sore throat for a day and a half. i thought maybe it was the twenty-nine hour flu. at first i was flat - the kind where you contemplate getting a glass of water for like half an hour before you actually make it to the sink. and then i felt MUCH better. this was super exciting because i couldn’t go out, i couldn’t take meetings, i couldn’t run errands but i was actually pretty functional. you can get out of ANYTHING when you have covid. my first husband was making market and pharmacy runs, my meetings were all pushed and i didn’t have to cook because no one wanted to eat any food i prepared, including me. i only had lucy (and hank) with me because she’d had covid recently and we thought she’d still be full of antibodies. so i was in this funny little time cocoon where i was stuck in my house but i could do whatever i wanted. and to top it off, people were dropping off lovely get well treats! it was kind of awesome.

the new normal

April 05, 2022 in family, hank, pet

my parents came to stay with us in amsterdam when my first baby was born. after a few weeks of being woken up constantly at night, regularly getting puked on, never being able to count on any kind of schedule and feeling insanely tired i said, “mom… when is my life going back to NORMAL?” “oh honey,” she said brightly, “this IS your new normal!” and she was right.

POSITIVE!

January 18, 2022 in hank, sofa

so it turns out i didn’t just have A virus over the holidays… i had THE virus! when i got back to boulder after christmas i had a sore throat which progressed into a throat ON FIRE with a runny nose, headache and some nausea. i was pretty flat for three days taking nyquil, drinking theraflu and sucking on ricolas (which i HATE so that is an indication of how tender my throat was - i only had them in the house because my dad loves them so i keep them on hand for his visits, which obviously haven’t happened since before the pandemic so they were very old, but still strong and nasty!) during that period my friend dropped off a home test which came back negative. i wasn’t seeing anyone (except hank, of course) because the kids went skiing with my first husband and i was feeling super cruddy and i wouldn’t have wanted to spread what i thought was a bad cold or strep anyway.

christmas traditions

December 22, 2020 in family, holiday, travel

corona has completely upended christmas this year. we are not meant to travel or even celebrate locally with others outside of our immediate families. so this will be the first boulder christmas for my family… since we’ve returned to the states we have always gone to california. traditions i have taken for granted will have to wait: my mother’s christmas buns (i CANNOT replicate these - i tried when we were living in amsterdam and they came out like little rocks) or visiting the giant gingerbread house at the fairmont hotel with our dear friends, or going to see the nutcracker (the SF ballet does a terrific one!) or my very favorite - christmas dinner at my sister in law’s house in san francisco (this is a big affair - they also include several other families from various aspects of their lives. i only see these families at this dinner and it is so much fun to note how their children have grown and hear the stories of what has happened to them over the course of the year. plus the food is DELICIOUS - jedo makes a big roast with red pepper sauce, shanon brings a huge, creative, colorful salad, others bring all kinds of interesting side dishes and my mother shares a platter of frosted cookies, homemade caramels and chocolate peanut butter balls. when the kids were smaller, they would eat first while we grown ups hovered over them, cutting their roast beef and encouraging them to try the salad and refilling their milk. we generously let them have first dibs on the desserts and then they would be sequestered away with chocolate smeared faces and a movie. the grown ups would then enjoy a long, relaxing, yummy dinner. last year the kids were deemed competent enough to cut their own meat and we all ate at the same time, which was lovely. the whole evening is chaotic [especially during the opening of presents - one year all of the kids were given red adidas track suits like the royal tenenbaums, which was amazing] festive and exhausting. it is perfect. i can’t wait for next year when i really hope we can resume this special celebration.)

corona holiday card

December 01, 2020 in family, hank, holiday, photography

as if a global pandemic and quarantine and the whole country feeling like the apocalypse isn’t stressful enough, today i made my children pose for the holiday card… (our poppies are in FULL bloom and i couldn’t help myself.) they always look so forward to this photo shoot and were absolutely GRATEFUL that i suggested it (i’m a thoughtful, FUN mama like that.) i DID have to use the full force of my diminishing strength (since i can’t go to my bar method classes) to pull my son off the sofa and detach him from the Xbox and i didn’t even try to get him to change out of his corona comfort clothes (no one really knows how many days he’s been in them) - i just matched lucy’s outfit to his - but i could tell by the warm snarl on his face that he was thrilled. i ALSO had to promise them dunkin’ donuts AND frozen custard from the good times drive thru which is a much richer offer than i usually extend, but i really didn’t want to miss the poppies.

corona neighbors

September 08, 2020 in family, garden

when i was growing up we did not have the friendliest neighbors. the grumpy lady on the left would complain about the noise when we rode our big wheels past her house, the grouchy lady across the street would yell at us just for being outside and the old man next door was very kind, but SO old and frail that he was just a periodic face in the window. after i left for college, i didn’t live in a proper house again for over twenty years… i was always in apartments.

corona first day of school

September 01, 2020 in family

(lucy‘s first day of school four years ago)

today is the first day of “school.” of course it is unlike any previous first day. usually we all walk over to the elementary school and the teachers are out on the lawn with big signs so the kids know where to line up. i stand near my kids and take pictures of them and with them and with their new teachers. when they start marching toward the doors i follow (a reasonable distance behind) waving and blowing kisses and crying… i ALWAYS cry. except this year because they didn’t go anywhere. well…lucy went into the playroom where her desk is all set up and theo went to his bedroom. he has a desk in there, but prefers to sit on his bed with his big, navy study pillow. i DID suggest that it might be more productive for him to sit at his desk, but i couldn’t in good conscience enforce it as i like to do everything in my bed (except eat because that is too messy.) i always studied in bed and i still frequently work in bed because i like to be comfortable.

on the road again... corona road trip part 2

August 11, 2020 in family, hank, holiday, pet, travel

because the scenery on our road trip from colorado to california was so uninspiring, we decided to take a different route back in hopes of seeing lots of ocean and even those elusive, giant red rocks. we left our darling cottage at the crack of dawn and hopped on highway 1, the road that follows the coastline, to take us to los angeles. my kids had been questioning why we were traveling a way that would add hours to our journey, but as soon as we hit half moon bay, they understood. it was a LONG day (we were in the car for ELEVEN hours) but my heart was swelling as we traced the coast and viewed the pacific in all of its iterations: rocky cliffs, pebbled beaches, sandy dunes… we detoured in pebble beach and took the 17 mile drive - breathtaking! my girlfriend grew up there so we had her on the phone narrating our journey as we drove through pebble and carmel. she directed us to the most adorable sweet shop on ocean avenue (it was still too early to go in, but we are determined to return!)

UPDATE on flexible corona homes

July 23, 2020 in dining room, exercise, family, family room, garden, hank, living room, playroom, residential interior

(american gate-leg dining table from 1695-1720 owned by the bowdoin family [founders of college in maine]; photo: historic deerfield)

my dear friend, cait mcquade, who is a museum professional and has extensively studied american cultural history (and has a TERRIFIC blog on the various ways we experience museums) let me know that i am not the first to endorse flexible home furnishings. according to cait: “U.S. domestic spaces in colonial and early republic homes were also convertible. all furnishings were kept against the walls when rooms weren't in use (maybe so as not to trip over things in the dim lighting?). folding furniture, mostly tables, kept the center space open until it was time to play cards, work on sewing, or serve tea.” super interesting!

corona road trip

July 21, 2020 in family, hank, holiday, travel

in this time of corona when air travel feels dicey, we decided to road trip to california for our annual summer visit… spoiler: WE MADE IT! that may be an obvious conclusion for most, but given my flimsy navigational abilities, it was no guarantee for us. (our odds WERE probably elevated by the fact that my first husband generously decided to accompany us on the ride out - corona concerns aside, i think he was worried that we would end up in toledo or baton rouge by mistake.)

corona projects

June 30, 2020 in family, hank, pet

pre corona my day ended by 2:55 pm for school pick up (actually 2:40ish because i had to get there.) from that point on i was making snacks, helping with homework, schlepping kids (my own and other peoples’) to soccer or hip hop or tennis or trumpet, prepping dinner, and schlepping back to pick said children up from soccer or hip hop or tennis or trumpet, squeezing in trips to the safeway or the UPS or the walgreens and trying to send out work emails or texts in the odd ten minute windows that were available. by the time we got through dinner (and all the nagging and threats around eating “five more bites” or no dessert or no phone or whatever else i could think of, i was exhausted. and i would put us all to bed very early because i had no “cheese” left.

flexible corona homes

June 18, 2020 in dining room, exercise, family, family room, garden, hank, living room, playroom, residential interior

last week my daughter had a piano recital on zoom along with two dozen other students. it was great to see her perform (she did a TIP TOP job), but the best part was getting a look into everyone else’s homes. my favorite was the one with the little sister laying on her belly across the top of the sofa with her feet in the air and her chin in her hands. runner up was the cat in the window seat behind the piano napping.

corona summer

June 02, 2020 in family, holiday, travel

(a road trip to my grandparents’ house circa 1974)

i am not sure what week of corona it is anymore, but here in boulder it is now summer. last week my son virtually “graduated” from middle school with a youtube video sharing their 8th grade yearbook photos and some candids and my daughter’s fourth grade year was capped off with a parade of her teachers on bikes and decorated cars. both of these ceremonies made me teary and stand in shock at what has happened the last couple of months. the transition to online school was so swift and difficult to manage, but now we are all wondering WHAT THE HELL we are going to do with our kids until it starts up again?

a slice of cheese

May 19, 2020 in family, hank, pet

now that we are all spending so much time together, we’ve had to negotiate how to share space, energy, attention and generosity of spirit. it’s become more and more clear that we all have different needs at various times throughout the day and they often don’t coincide.

corona hank

May 12, 2020 in exercise, family, hank, pet

hank has had it with corona. he REFUSES to go on walks now. i can hardly get two blocks with him, let alone all the way to the lake that it took so much effort for me to learn how to find. when i put his leash on he’ll maybe get to the corner and then just lay down all spread out so he’s completely planted. even with his svelte new figure, he is far too heavy for me to carry (i am lazy too!) so i have to stand there and coax him with ice cubes (it’s already blazing here in boulder, even though we had loads of snow just weeks ago.) and this goes on… walking half a block, him laying down, me waiting and begging, walking another half block, him laying down and me waiting and begging and then finally me saying, “all right, do you want to go home?” at which point he pops up and RUNS at a clip all the way there. i know now that he speaks perfect english, as well as his native french. so i have to go on dog walks without my dog… and when i pass people they all ask after him (he is quite well known in our neighborhood) and they are clearly disappointed that it is only me.

corona week 6

April 28, 2020 in family

this week i definitely hit a wall with the quarantine. like most people i’ve been cleaning and cooking and cleaning and cooking and feeling like i am running underwater and not getting anywhere. last week i was distracted by passover and easter and lucy’s tenth birthday (she said it was her BEST birthday ever, which has really made me rethink these elaborate, themed parties i threw pre-corona: a dutch one in honor of her birth country with wooden shoes to paint and pannekoken [pancakes] and loads of dutch candy to eat and vases of tulips everywhere; a fairy one where i made glittery tulle fairy skirts and wands and a bazillion tissue paper flowers and decorated every tree in the backyard; a farm one that we had to move to the front driveway because we had a BLIZZARD and the snow didn’t stick to the cement, but it DID to the grass - the pig wouldn’t come out of his pen into the snow so he just stayed put on the drive. they were super fun, but maybe a little over the top… CLEARLY i needed to throw my extra energy into something and probably should have gone back to work sooner. anyway, this year we just had a long, lazy breakfast, zoom calls with family and friends, a neighborhood walk, a long, lazy dinner and finally cupcake baking… so much simpler and she LOVED it… something to ponder.)

corona week 4

April 16, 2020 in family, hank

there are some things i have enjoyed about the quarantine… i like not having to drag my kids out of bed by seven so we can leave for school at eight. they really prefer to sleep in until somewhere between eight thirty and nine and are generally more pleasant when they wake naturally.

learnings from the corona

March 24, 2020 in family, exercise

this new reality of corona “social distancing” and “shelter at home” has certainly been shocking and hard to get used to, but i have had some important learnings as well:

(1) ONE pair of sweatpants is NOT enough when you spend every day at home. usually this time of year i toggle between jeans and jammies each day. if i am not going out, i typically get into my jams right after dinner. i have two pairs of lulus that i wear to my bar classes (that is an indication of how frequently i exercise - most boulder moms have a collection of ten to fifteen pairs. but most boulder moms also wear their lulus as regular clothes. i may run an errand or two in mine after bar class, but i rarely wear them all day long.) however, with my new corona sofa regime, jeans are not comfortable attire for a full day. also, i think all the cookie dough i have been eating (we have been practicing home schooling “life skills” and the ability to make proper nestle tollhouse cookie dough is imperative) has made my skinny jeans even skinnier. i DO have a fairly extensive pj collection but i keep reading that staying in your pajamas all day is not good for your mental health. so sweatpants seem like a good compromise… unfortunately, i only have one pair. now my favorite day is the one when my sweats are fresh out of the laundry.

corona

March 18, 2020 in family, hank, holiday, travel

in the last few weeks the world has turned completely upside down. two weeks ago i attended what we lovingly refer to as the “no talent show” at my daughter’s elementary school. this is a day i dread each year as the show goes on for HOURS, the gym is always a bazillion degrees (this is coming from someone who is almost never too hot) and i end up feeling punch drunk and cheering too loudly out of desperation for it to end. this year my girlfriend confided that she’d had two beers before she came, which i thought was brilliant. in NINE years i have never thought to give myself an aid like that. and now i may never have to because it’s hard to imagine in our new corona reality that we will ever jam ourselves into a hot, stuffy gym with fourteen million elementary school kids, their sneezy, coughy siblings and all their parents and grandmas and grandpas to boot.