(we saw this big, fat rainbow in san francisco over the holidays… i’ve never seen one so wide - perhaps he got into the scotch mallows as well?)

i am writing this on the afternoon of new year’s eve 2021. i am relieved for the start of 2022 because generally, i like even numbers much better than odd ones (which is why i skip the odd birthdays and just stay an even age for two years which CAN lead to some confusion and me not always knowing exactly how old i am, but then i just check my bumble account because that thing updates automatically) and because 2021 was mostly a shit fuck of a year…not so unlike 2020.

there WERE some amazing things that happened in 2021: we inaugurated a new (totally SANE!) president and vice-president (who attended the same elementary school as me - thousand oaks - of which i am enormously proud), my children went back to live school and i have not had to teach fractions or word problems since, my business picked up (apparently after spending months trapped in their homes people thankfully decided to shake up their interiors), hank and i lost some of our coronas on our “no toast, no candy” diet, which was really a “LESS toast, LESS candy” diet because we ARE only human, i finished my coursework (while i do really MISS my classmates and teacher, i am so relieved not to have homework), VACCINATIONS became available to all but the youngest among us and we were able to start traveling again and spending time with dear ones (however, i spent the last three days absolutely flattened by some sort of virus after flying back from california - i don’t think it was covid because the home test my friend kindly dropped off showed negative, but you never know how reliable those are - so perhaps traveling isn’t the best right now?)

but i am entering 2022 with a very heavy heart - last night a huge fire (aided by 105 mile per hour winds!) blew through the towns bordering boulder and burned down at least FIVE HUNDRED homes and my costco. it is impossible to process. as i write this, there are no fatalities, which is absolutely amazing and i am hoping upon hope that that does not change. it DID start to snow this morning - PRAISE JESUS! so perhaps the precipitation will tamp down the remaining fire. this devastation is gut wrenching and yet, our incredible governor polis just read this text from a friend during his press conference on the boulder county fire:

“we may not have homes tomorrow, but we have each other. i’ll miss the treasures we’ve collected for the last thirty plus years and while not replaceable, that’s not people. and remember we will have homes… a house is made of sticks and stones, a home is made of love alone.”

and that, i think, is what the pandemic and all of the other tragedies (my goodness 2021 had to throw in one last heartbreak and take BETTY WHITE away!) have stripped away for us - nothing is more important than the people we love. so let’s hold that up and love BIG in 2022. let’s show grace and kindness to the fullest extent that we can so maybe 2022 will be a little softer.

(we could all use more big, fat rainbows)