so it turns out i didn’t just have A virus over the holidays… i had THE virus! when i got back to boulder after christmas i had a sore throat which progressed into a throat ON FIRE with a runny nose, headache and some nausea. i was pretty flat for three days taking nyquil, drinking theraflu and sucking on ricolas (which i HATE so that is an indication of how tender my throat was - i only had them in the house because my dad loves them so i keep them on hand for his visits, which obviously haven’t happened since before the pandemic so they were very old, but still strong and nasty!) during that period my friend dropped off a home test which came back negative. i wasn’t seeing anyone (except hank, of course) because the kids went skiing with my first husband and i was feeling super cruddy and i wouldn’t have wanted to spread what i thought was a bad cold or strep anyway. 

then my friend circled back and offered to drop off a second test because he’d heard that when you are vaxxed and boosted sometimes it takes longer for a positive result to show. sure enough, on the day that i felt like i was turning the corner my second test came back POSITIVE! it was a resounding pink line like i was always hoping for when i was trying to get pregnant. i am so GRATEFUL to andy nathan (and all of boulder should be too) because i was ready to hit up my safeway and target and start my life again - i would have been a modern day typhoid mary spreading that virus all over town if he hadn’t generously supplied me with a second test (and they are VERY hard to come by these days!) 

(this could have been ME!)

thankfully, first and the kids came back from the mountains shortly after my diagnosis and dropped off a ton of groceries because, of course, i had to isolate. it is very WEIRD to be all by yourself for days on end… i don’t know what i would have done without my darling hank. i thought i was madly in love with him before quarantining, but it’s nothing compared to how i feel about him now. he just snuggled up next to me on the sofa for HOURS at a time softly snoring. he followed me everywhere - into the bathroom (which happened a lot because i was drinking so much tea), into the garage to get the mail, into the kitchen to get a snack (i ate tons of pudding and popsicles and chilled cantaloup) and always back to the sofa. we had lots of conversations (yes - i am one of those kooks who totally talks to her dog now… mostly about how much i love him), we weathered the boulder county fire (which has been HEARTBREAKING) and two blizzards, we watched a bazillion documentaries (lucille ball and desi arnaz had a FASCINATING relationship and quincy jones has worked with EVERY important musician of the last seven decades - incredible!) and then we got into YELLOWSTONE. 

(here is hank sleeping next to me on the sofa while i’m working)

(first we watched this…)

(and then we watched this documentary by their daughter, lucie arnaz)

(this movie was amazing!)

(YELLOWSTONE!)

we became obsessed with this series about a ranching dynasty in montana headed up by kevin costner. hank would perk right up during the horse scenes. mind you, so much happens (murders and gunfights and cattle theft and bunkhouse tussles and loads of whiskey drinking) and everyone speaks with a drawl so i didn’t always know what was going on - i would have to read recaps on showbizjunkies for clarity. but one thing that was completely clear is that beth dutton (the daughter) takes NO SHIT. she says things like, “you are the trailer park. i am the tornado.” while smoking and throwing back a glass of whiskey straight. and despite frequently wearing floral sundresses that she might have borrowed from holly hobbie, she is ridiculously sexy. i found her ferocity and fearlessness inspiring (i DO acknowledge that she is a tad batshit.)

(beth on the porch)

(beth will probably wear this outfit in season five - minus the bonnet)

she DID show a softer, more domestic side in season 4 when she starts cooking dinner. intrigued, as soon as my quarantine ended i went straight to the market and picked up some hamburger helper so i could be like beth. i’ve never had this before - it took me a while to find the correct aisle - and i was excited to learn that it comes in lots of flavors. i got “cheeseburger macaroni” and “lasagne.” i’m not going to lie - it was pretty GOOD! (next time, though, i will make it in a much bigger skillet as mine bubbled over and made a huge mess on my range.) i ate it with a tumbler of grand marnier (i’m sure beth would not have been impressed with my fruity, orange liquor, but it was the only brown drink i had in the house. first husband got our bar in the divorce and i never replenished it. i’m not even sure where the grand marnier came from - i must have needed it for a cake or something.) the leftover hamburger helper was even better the next day when i had some for breakfast (DISGUSTING, i know… i’m a little altered after this covid experience and even beth would not have approved - she only has coffee and cigarettes in the morning.) anyway, if you see me on my porch at sunset wearing a faux fur jacket, cowboy boots and a gunnysacks dress, smoking and staring off into the horizon while clutching a big glass of grand marnier you’ll know i am channeling beth dutton… give me a wide berth.

(my hamburger helper selections)

(my dinner)

(beth having breakfast)

(me as beth… sadly, my photoshopping skills have deteriorated a bit)

* i want to give a BIG thanks to my friend charity, who REALLY lived up to her name, and dropped off the most DELICIOUS soup while i was quarantining. and many thanks to the super kind friends who offered to make market or pharmacy runs… it means the world! x0x

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