my tread
(my first teacher… he is german!)
so… i FINALLY got on my tread! it had been so long since the guys came to set it up that i couldn’t remember how to turn it on. turns out the BIG red button that says, “STOP” is also the start button, which is totally non sensical. i wanted to ease into my tread so i chose a ten minute “walk” that was really meant as a cool down. for some reason my teacher was speaking in german. he was actually yelling in german (i accidentally had the volume turned up super high and it also took a long while to find the control buttons for that) in a very happy, encouraging way. i don’t know what he was saying but i just tried to do what he was doing, except when he stretched his arms up - i was too afraid to let go of the sides… i’ve watched many episodes of the jetsons and i know that walking on a tread can get out of control.
(it’s looking a little precarious for george here)
the tread shows you lots of information that i’ve never had access to before, like how many calories you are burning. during my first walk i burned 43 calories. i didn’t have a reference for that so i looked up scotchmallows… 43 calories is only about HALF of ONE scotchmallow. this was unfortunate news because i can easily pop down half a dozen scotchmallows in less time than my tread walk. it DID help me make a decision. i had been gifted a box of easter scotchmallows that i wasn’t sure i was going to share with my children and i decided maybe i should share them.
(forty-three calories)
the next day i tried a twenty minute motown walk. even though my teacher was dancing and waving her arms around i still held tight to the sides of the tread. TWENTY MINUTES only equals TWO scotchmallows. i also did ten minutes of light weights. weights only burn FOUR calories which isn’t even a scotchmallow crumb.
i am still trying to figure out a lot of things about my tread… people have been sending me “high fives” which is really nice but i don’t know how to wave back or if they can see me. or if my teachers can see me. i know there is a little camera so i have been careful not to scratch anywhere personal (i can’t let go of the sides anyway) and have been checking my teeth before getting on. i am also not sure why so many of my classes are in german. i AM one quarter german but i don’t know how my tread would know that. i have learned a few words: “elbow” sounds the same in english, “schnell” means “fast” and “gut" is “good.”
by the second week i found one (american!) teacher i really like named jess. she has one big dimple on maybe her left cheek (it’s hard to know since she is facing me on the screen which makes left and right really confusing) that i adore - lucy has just one and my grandma did too - and she is lots of fun. we were doing a “broadway” walk and during “mama mia” - one of my FAVORITES - i got a little cocky during the “heel walks” and let go of the sides. apparently, i was walking my heels too slowly because all of a sudden i went flying off the back just like astro. thankfully i was wearing the safety clip that my girlfriend anne marie told me about and the tread stopped (i was already on the floor though.) that sobered me up a bit so i am back to holding onto the sides. for safety’s sake i’ve also started trying more classes that you do on the floor (like yoga or barre) so i don’t have to worry about falling.
(lu’s one dimple)
(my grandma and her one dimple)
(here i am right before i went flying off)
(here i am stretching with one of the germans - the tread is turned off!)
i must say, i am pretty proud of myself for starting my tread. i have even ventured out of the house a few times in my tread clothes (usually to walk hank on solid ground) which makes me feel like an undercover spy because i am totally disguised in my “boulder mom” outfit. so i may take on some P.I. gigs… boulders - just let me know if you need something nefarious investigated!