in the last few weeks the world has turned completely upside down. two weeks ago i attended what we lovingly refer to as the “no talent show” at my daughter’s elementary school. this is a day i dread each year as the show goes on for HOURS, the gym is always a bazillion degrees (this is coming from someone who is almost never too hot) and i end up feeling punch drunk and cheering too loudly out of desperation for it to end. this year my girlfriend confided that she’d had two beers before she came, which i thought was brilliant. in NINE years i have never thought to give myself an aid like that. and now i may never have to because it’s hard to imagine in our new corona reality that we will ever jam ourselves into a hot, stuffy gym with fourteen million elementary school kids, their sneezy, coughy siblings and all their parents and grandmas and grandpas to boot.

last weekend i cheered for my daughter and her soccer team saturday AND sunday during their first tournament of the spring season and watched as she physically bounced into kids from both her own and the other team, engendering loads of germy contact. this too, now seems unthinkable.

(theo trying to cheer up lu because her team ultimately came in second in the tournament.)

last tuesday i still thought i would be taking my children via zephyr train from denver to the bay area (a trip we have been planning for a YEAR and a half) and then flying down to LA to visit friends and go to harry potter land. lucy has been madly reading the series (theo and i finished it long ago) and we’ve been talking about what we wanted to do there ad nauseam. theo planned on heading straight to the three broomsticks for a butter beer, lucy has been saving up for a magic wand from ollivanders and i was hoping to run into hagrid. i was tortured over this decision and now i’m shocked that going forth with the trip was even a consideration. 

(the zephyr is supposed to have beautiful views all the way from colorado to california…)

(diagon alley in harry potter land at universal)

this past thursday i carpooled a gaggle of little girls to their hip hop class after school. i am astonished that just days ago we were still in school and squishing into cars together, albeit while using loads of disinfectant wipes, because today i had an argument with my teen about whether he could go to the park and wave hello to his friend from a safe distance of at least five feet. 

we’ve been all bunkered in since thursday evening “social distancing” ourselves and trying to process this new reality. i am actually a good candidate for this type of isolation because i am pretty lazy and LOVE to cozy up on the sofa. i know a lot of moms have been devising rigorous home schooling schedules and maybe i will get there, but for now we are making cookie dough (i had about a third of it for breakfast the other day before i felt a little sick and baked the rest) and watching movies. theo and i did a run of “music” movies: “8 mile” - my eminem obsession has been renewed since he performed “one shot” at the grammy’s and i thought theo should know his history, “yesterday” - a really sweet film about the incredible music of the beatles and we have elton john’s “rocketman” queued up. theo DID complain a bit about all the netflix as he has a history project he needs to finish, but it is not due until wednesday and i needed a break from the gluing. 

(eminem in 8 mile - still GREAT!)

(VERY sweet movie!)

(the amazing elton!)

yesterday i did have a proper breakfast (scrambled eggs and toast) and took hank for a long walk… we went all the way from the “d” street to the “k” street and meant to walk around wonderland lake, but i couldn’t find it (this is probably astounding for the local boulders as it is a pretty BIG lake so that’s a testament to my poor navigational ability and also demonstrates how infrequently i have done this hike.) somehow i ended up in a residential part and then i had to go to the bathroom and even though i have a good friend right there i didn’t want to intrude on her “social distancing” so i thought we should make our way home. i have never been very accurate with a nature pee (AND we didn’t actually find the nature part.)

today i woke up feeling inspired to get outside and take advantage of the sunshine. i can’t tell you how UNUSUAL this is! i just haven’t been to my bar class in a long while (i can’t totally blame it on the corona because my lapse started well before the “social distancing” so that shows you how long it’s been since i really exercised. and all the cookie dough for breakfast has compounded the situation.) i called my first husband and asked him to take us on a guided hike up sanitas - even though he is a true new yorker, he has recently embraced the nature and knows how to find the hiking trail.) in nearly TEN years living in this mountain town, i have never really gotten up into the thick of the mountain and certainly not to the top. i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to find it after my experience with the lake (even though it starts at 4th street and i live on 7th - it is REALLY close) or get lost in there like the guy from “into the wild” who died just about a mile from a main road. that would be me… trying to survive off dirt clods and dried grass getting sunburned and dehydrated because i’d accidentally veered off the correct path. so first, the kids, hank and i left for our trek at 11 am. i was pretty tired by the time we got to the trail head (it may only be three blocks away, but it IS uphill) which didn’t bode well for me. 

i DID have my own personal cheerleader… lucy kept saying, “you GOT this mama!” and offering to carry the back pack filled with water bottles. she even said, “you are ALMOST like a boulder mom today!” which she found amazing. i’m not going to lie… it was HARD scrambling up that mountain, even hank was much more nimble than me. and we kept getting to points that first husband called “false peaks” which was super frustrating. and it’s not like the view from the mountain was changing as we got higher, it just got farther away. there were many landings that felt like “top" enough to me, but the kids were determined to get to this pole that is at the proper top. next time i think i will just bring my own pole and plant it in the ground when i feel i have gone high enough.

(we found out that hank is part mountain goat!)

(the pole on the top of mount sanitas - it blends right in with the trees.)

just as i was starting to worry that we would not have enough water to survive the trek down, we reached the tip top. i did NOT touch the germ infested pole, but i did nod at it and take a picture. i did not allow anyone to photograph me near the pole because i was looking pretty rough (one of the biggest sacrifices i have had to make is missing my regular appointment with my beloved colorist, liz. i would have gone (i am that vain about my hair), but she was being responsible and “social distancing” so i now have more silvery roots than i can bear and will be wearing a hat until liz and i can be reunited.) 

going down the mountain was challenging too, but MUCH easier. we finally walked in the door at 2:24 pm - nearly THREE and a half hours later. most boulders go up and down in less than two hours to give you some perspective. we DID take a lot of breaks, but my heart was racing even when i was sitting so i think that is still exercising. i imagined turning over a new leaf in this altered reality and starting each day with a healthy, invigorating hike with hank and my kids, but it takes so much time we won’t be able to get through all of the oscar movies if we do that. so we may have to figure out a different plan. and they ARE supposed to be doing some school work too. 

anyway, aside from the terrible sadness of how many people have already died from corona here in the states and around the world and my paralyzing fear of how both my country and i will recover from corona’s financial impact (i am once again channeling miss scarlett, “fiddle dee dee…i will think about that another day!”) this hunkering down and isolating hasn’t been too awful yet. i DID have to buy a different brand of toilet paper, which was pretty upsetting as i have used quilted northern my ENTIRE life (i even brought pallets of it to amsterdam when we moved there because i was afraid the dutch tp would be pink and scratchy like the french tp) and the only kind left at the market was charmin. i am extremely brand loyal. i DO realize that i was super lucky to score any toilet paper at all and if any of you local boulders are in a bind i will share my charmin (NOT my remaining QN though) and i DO have rice and pasta on hand as well… i am so surprised that the carbohydrates have been hoarded off the shelves in boulder because no one here even eats that food category. so that shows how far the boulders have gone into survival mode… they would rather eat something that might bloat them, than eat nothing at all, which i think is wise.

wishing everyone well (from a careful distance) as you snuggle up with your families and spend time safely inside washing your hands with great frequency.

* wonderland lake update… this afternoon we DID find it, but we drove to it. we haven’t mustered up the courage to try and walk to it again.

(wonderland lake is very pretty if you can find it!)

* sanitas update - i am so SORE two days later… normally i would pop a fistful of advil, but i am saving those now in case we get the corona…

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