(BIG MAMA a few years ago with a HUGE dragonfly she caught!)

it is the beginning of october and there are now witches and skeletons and ghouls and black cats and gravestones all over boulder. it is startling to walk around our neighborhood… hank and i are constantly getting surprised (and frightened) by all the decorations so we are hanging out in the park now to avoid the grotesque. one lady we can’t avoid, however, is BIG MAMA. she the humongous spider who takes up residence under the corner drainpipe of my house each fall. we can see her perfectly because of the giant window in my stairwell. as much as i try to avert my eyes each time i go up or down the stairs, i am inexplicably drawn to her presence and almost always peek, risking TERRIBLE dreams.

she is very clever because this corner is protected from wind and rain so her home is safe. every fall the design is a little different, but this year she really outdid herself. there are THREE floors as opposed to her standard ranch. i’m wondering, if like everyone else, she went to see “barbie” this summer and was inspired by the dream house. like barbie’s, BIG MAMA’S triplex is open so she can float right out of there when she wants to run errands or meet friends for happy hour. she may well have engaged an architect this year because the design is much more complicated. i’ve been meaning to ask my two favorites (anne marie of AMPk and kristin of spacecraft) if she used them and if so, how did she compensate? lucky for her, she doesn’t need a builder as she does the construction herself. while impressive, this house is a bit gruesome… she’s been keeping all the carcasses of her kills in the basement like jeffrey dahmer. the pile of odd legs and wings gets bigger with each passing day. she’s never held onto the evidence before. i am concerned that she’s getting a little twisted as she ages. thankfully, she always leaves before the first snow. i imagine that she winters in florida with all the snowbirds. she probably has a beach house with amazing views. but she EATS so much before she leaves that her bikini might get a bit tight. i suppose there is a big selection of caftans available in south beach… she probably has a collection that rivals mrs. roper’s. regardless, i am ready for her to head off on her beach holiday…. i just hope she doesn’t post photos of her EIGHT FEET on a lounge chair with her pina colada to the side as so many IG users are apt to do.

(BIG MAMA can float down from her house just like barbie!)

(BIG MAMA in her current house… it’s hard to see all of the floors because they are translucent!)

(i imagine BIG MAMA dressed like mrs. roper when she’s wintering in florida)

photo credit: @kathrynkerber

(holiday photos with two feet are bad enough… can you imagine if there were SIX MORE??)

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